HOW DID I GET HERE:  Forget the Bootstraps! 

It's the seventh week now since I file for Democratic candidate for State House in Montana.  The fear that has been with me from the beginning is mostly dissipating.  Passing time helps.  It's also true that, in sharing my candidacy with different community groups of which I'm a member, I'm gaining more confidence.  Reactions seem to range from some acceptance to utter surprise to ho-hum.  If anything can clarify my importance within the community, it's the "ho-hum, big-deal".  It tends to keep me in touch with reality.

At the same time, I realize I'm also looking for affirmation.  Is there anyone out there (within my small community) who thinks that what I'm doing is a great idea?  When I share my down-in-the-dumps feeling with a local friend through email, she writes back, "I would vote for you.  I know you would do the required research."  But mostly with those I interact, my candidacy just pointedly does not come up in our conversations.

Leila, a friend from Billings, tries to explain the culture of this area, and Montana in general.  She is born here, has lived for some years in California, but is back again in retirement.  "People here," she says, "are expected to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  It's when a disaster takes place that neighbors come together to provide support."

Take, for example, Roundup's latest flood.  This spring word gets out early as to possible flooding along the Musselshell River.  Spring thaws upriver cause water to rise and begin to move downstream.  Homes and businesses in low-lying areas prepare by moving equipment to higher ground.  Community meetings led by the Department of Emergency Services are held regularly at St. Benedict Catholic Church.  Reports are made on where the problems are, what is expected to happen with the fast-running water, and where help is needed.  Beds and food are available for anyone who needs them.  Even before the flood of 2011 and the fires of 2012, the community has been developing a program and process that jumps into action when disaster warnings come.

Other factors impact culture in the western states, however.  The Billings Gazette, Nov. 25, 2012, reports that Montana "has been near the top in the nation in the rate of suicide for 35 years...The victims are military veterans, American Indians, senior citizens, and teenagers."

Suicides in Montana seem to come from not only a "cowboy culture" (pull yourself up by your own bootstraps), but also from the following:

1. Montana is a gun state.  It is third in the nation for per capita gun possession.  "People who live in areas with high concentrations of guns are more likely to die by suicide."
2. Social isolation that comes with living in Montana.  If there is a network of social support, there is a lower incidence of suicide.
3. Widespread use of drugs
4. A shortage of mental health professionals in the state

Feeling down-in-the-dumps?  Insecure?  Forget pulling yourself up by the bootstraps!  Reach out to others.  That's good advice for anyone but particularly if you live in Montana (specifically western Montana and pockets in the east where suicide rates are highest).  It can make the difference between life and death.

(Billings Gazette, "High-Country Crisis:  Montana's suicide rate leads the nation," Nov. 25, 2012)

Stressed Out?  Go Under! 

Getting tensed up?  Can't relax?  Can't sleep?  Try this.

1 -- Sit up in a chair, feet on the floor (or sit up in bed).

2 -- Close your eyes.

3 -- Slowly roll your head around in a circle to the right 3 times.  Do the same to the left, signaling to your body that you are beginning to relax.

4 -- Breathe in deeply.  Hold to the count of 5.  Breathe out slowly through your mouth to the count of 10.  Repeat 2 more times.

5 -- Breathe normally, keeping your eyes closed.

6 -- Focus solely on your breath.  Keep your attention on your breathing.

7 -- Your mind will wander but, matter-of-factly, always bring it back to your breathing.  Your mind will wander again but always come back to your breathing.  Over and over.

8 -- Feel your muscles in your feet and legs begin to relax.  Breathe.  Up through your torso, allow your different organs to relax.  Breathe.  Your intestines, stomach, heart, lungs.  Breathe.  Your arms are relaxing with each breath.  Your back is relaxing.  Up through your neck and head.  Breathe.

9 -- Bring your mind always back to breathing.

10 -- Take as long as you can to sit relaxed, loose, focusing on each breath.  Bring your mind back to breathing each time it wanders.

11 -- Time may be 10, 15 minutes.  30 minutes.  Or more.  Within whatever time is available, this process will pull you under.

12 -- Open your eyes.  Re-orient yourself to your surroundings.

13 -- Feel relaxed, refreshed.  Ready to move on.  Or to snuggle back into the covers, and sleep.

This is meditation.  This is going under.  Whenever stress takes over, take time wherever you are to close your eyes, slowly relax, focus on your breathing.  It can work.  Let it!

Suppressing Voting Rights in Montana

As in other red states where there is a Republican majority in the legislature, Montana is at risk of losing voting rights.  Suppression of the vote is a major Republican thrust throughout red states and Montana seems to be following suit.

Since 2005, Montanans have had the right to register to vote on election day.  Same-day registration boosts participation in elections.  It allows college students, who tend to move more frequently, to vote.  It eases unnecessary burdens for blacks, for Hispanics, and for young voters, particularly those from under-privileged backgrounds.

Current same-day registration laws in Montana are already restrictive.  They require that voter registration take place only at county election offices, not at polling sites.  To follow the law, voters must drive to two different locations to vote on Election Day.

In their last session, the state legislature determined to defeat same-day registration.  Other than the fact that affected populations tend to vote Democratic, there is no reason for removing this right.  There is almost no in-person voter fraud found in the state.  For what reason, other than suppressing votes, does the legislature want to remove this right?

Knowing that our Democratic Governor Bullock would veto it, the legislature has decided to take elimination of this right to voters.  It will be a referendum on the November ballot this year, #126.  My friend, Leila, reports that the actual ballot language is confusing, however.  "The wording is deliberately difficult in hopes that it will pass and people won't understand it," she tells me.  More information on this specific referendum will be forthcoming in early June when the Billings Chapter of the League of Women Voters will be discussing it (navigating the Montana Government website is all but impossible).

This referendum needs to be defeated.  (1)  It rescinds a right we currently have -- to register and vote the same day.  (2)  It makes voting more difficult.  Voting is a right for all citizens, no matter their situation.  Access to that right should be helped, not hindered.

How do we respond?  (1) Take every opportunity to notify/educate voters about this move of the Montana Legislature.  As soon as the specific language of the referendum is known, provide a clear explanation to voters, making sure they understand what a "yes"or "no" vote means.  (2)  Get out the vote.  Begin a campaign early on to encourage all voters to practice their right to vote.  Our legislators are our representatives; we must tell them what we want.

This is the beginning of an "Educate to Motivate" campaign in Montana.  Let's get started!

("Montana GOP looks to end same-day voter registration" by Zachary Roth)

HOW DID I GET HERE -- Effects of Fear

It is now late into the third week after my filing for the Montana State House as a Democratic candidate.  I have blown hot and cold at the thought of taking on this experience:  running blue in a red state.  Even during my March 3rd phone call with Matt, Democratic Field Director, my fear is palpable.  In answer to his request of including my name on the November ballot, I respond, "You don't think I'll find a burning cross on my lawn some night?"  He reassures me, because of where I live, that probably wouldn't happen.

On Sunday, at the beginning of this third week, I tell of my candidacy and share my fears with the UU Fellowship in Billings.  They are supportive and encouraging.  But I have yet to tell the first person in my town.  Earlier in the week, I write several posts for my new blog.  Since only a few know of the blog, there's little likelihood there would be a local response to anything I've written so far.  Still, I worry about reactions from crazy people -- and lay low.  In fact, in the previous week, a small circle of friends meets at my house.  We each have a goal in mind when it comes to writing and we meet to provide ideas and support in that process.  I do not mention the blog that might give away my secret.

It's only after a conversation that lends itself to my situation that I share with a Roundup citizen -- almost four weeks after I file.  We are discussing an upcoming Trade Fair where local citizens running for local offices will have an opportunity to introduce themselves to Fair participants.  There will be a table available for their literature as well.  "Maybe I should introduce myself, too," I suggest.  I go on to explain.  She doesn't seem upset, only shows surprise because she hasn't yet heard anything about it.  I laugh, "There's probably a good reason for that since you're the first person I've told here."  At the Fair, the table for candidates will focus on their running for local offices; my candidacy is for a statewide office.  I decline the idea of participating.  I'm nervous about putting myself out there so quickly and publicly.

Midweek, our small circle of friends meets again at another member's home.  This time I have the courage to mention my candidacy.  The question that surprises me most is, "What if you win?"  I laugh and tell them the story of my husband's experience in running for office in South Florida in the 1970's.  "If I win," he said at the time, "I'm going to demand a recount!"  This whole experience is beginning to feel like a game now.

The next week, I share my not-so-secret again with a larger community group.  "I want to introduce you to someone," I say to the group after the meeting is adjourned, "who is a Democrat running for State House representing District 40."  I pause.  "And she is me," I finish.

"You?!" is the loudest response.  She follows up with question concerning campaigning.  I surprise myself in answering her, "I don't want to work that hard."  Another mentions, "Oh, I'm neither Republican or Democrat."

My tension is beginning to ease a little.  Maybe paralyzing fear has been unwarranted, I tell myself.  With each step I've taken in sharing my candidacy, my fears have lessened.  Maybe that's the secret, I tell myself.  Honor my commitment first.  Then, just continue what I've already started:  take one step at a time, one day at a time.  And trust the process.

How to Exercise -- for a campaign or a regular work day

Keep your mind clear and your body flexible.  Follow these 10 early-morning stretches to wake you up and keep your motor running throughout the day.  From head to toe, you will be ready for anything.

1.  Head rolls:  Do 10 head rolls (rolling from right shoulder around to the back to the left, to the front and back to the right).  Do 10 head rolls to the left.  Move more slowly as needed.

2.  Shoulder rolls:  Hunch and roll your shoulders backwards 10 times.  Hunch them forward 10 times.

3.  Large arm swings:  Swing your right arm in a circle beginning with your arm at your side, swing forward, up, back then down.  Do this 10 times.  Do the same with your left arm.  Then swing both arms together, first forward 10 times crossing them in the front, then backwards 10 times.

4.  Tight arm swings:  Stretch your arms straight out at the sides.  Keeping them straight, rotate them in a tight circle 10 times forward, then 10 times backwards.  Continue these complete rotations 5 times.

5.  Side stretches:  Place your left arm at your side.  Bring your right arm over your head.  At each count to three, bend, straighten, bend then straighten.  Your left arm will move further down your side.  Continue 10 times.  Do the same with your right arm at your side and the left arm over your head, 10 times.

6.  Belly-dancing rolls:  Place hands on your hips.  Bring hips forward, roll them to the right, around to the back, over to the left and forward again.  Continue 10 times.  Do the same but beginning to the left.  The goal is to flex your body at the waist while keeping legs slightly bent.

7.  Touching toes:  Stretch legs apart, keeping them straight at the knee.  Reach to the floor, bending as far as is comfortable.  Each time you bend, your arms and back will stretch further.  Do this 10 times.

8.  Body twists:  Keeping your legs apart after previous exercise, spread both arms out at the sides, and swing your body left then right, turning at the waist.  Keep your legs straight with head facing forward.  Do this 10 times.

9.  Leg exercise #1:  Lean against a wall.  Bring your right leg up to your chest, use arms to pull it into your chest and hold for several seconds.  Do this 10 times.  Repeat with your left leg.

10.  Leg exercise #2:  Stand with legs together.  Take one step forward with right foot.  While keeping left heel on the floor, lean into that right leg bending it downward at the knee.  Feel the stretch in your left leg.  Hold.  Bring your right leg back to original position and repeat 10 times.  Do the same starting with your left leg.

Follow this routine each morning.  These stretches demand about 15 minutes out of your day but very quickly can become one of the most satisfying activities you can give yourself.  Have a good day!

The Affordable Care Act and Abortion

Understandably, there are many mistakes, misconceptions, and just plain confusion concerning the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare).  This has also been the case in the past when, for example, another big law, Medicare part D, was introduced during the George W. Bush administration.  Although Democrats had many questions about the prescription drug benefit, they eventually supported it and actively encouraged constituents to apply for the benefit.

This has not been the case with the other side of the aisle when it comes to the Affordable Care Act.  Purposeful confusion, misconceptions and downright lies from the Republicans have exacerbated what can already be a confusing law for many.  Rather than clarify misunderstandings about the Affordable Care Act, Republicans in turn have done everything in their power to sabotage the law -- a law that can bring health care benefits to many who, up until now, have been unable to afford such coverage.  Note the efforts of the House Republican caucus to repeal the law at least 50 times!

Thus, we have health care issues that have been totally misrepresented as they pertain to the Affordable Care Act.  Take abortion, for example.  The Affordable Care Act does nothing "to restrict or expand existing abortion law, while ensuring that federal funds cannot be used for abortion coverage or care."  Specifically, the following is true:

"-Health plans cannot be required to cover abortion
-No federal funds for abortion coverage or abortion care
-No federal funds for abortion coverage in the community health insurance option
-Enrollees are guaranteed access to varied coverage in the exchanges
-No preemption of state or federal laws regarding abortion
-Conscience protections for providers and facilities"
(from www.dpc.senate.gov/healthreformbill/healthbill18.pdf)

This is not to say that I agree with the exceptions created for the health care procedure of abortion in the Affordable Care Act.  To wit:

1.  Whatever must be decided about a woman's pregnancy is between herself and her doctor.  It has been said, "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."  Until the time when men can get pregnant, it is the woman who gets to make the decision about what happens with her body and her pregnancy.  Whether or not that decision includes an abortion is up to the woman.  Everyone else, keep your hands off!

2.  An abortion is a medical procedure that very few, if any, women who, growing up, would wish to have done.  The reason for that is not because it isn't a safe procedure.  Within Planned Parenthood, for example, abortion is a safe and effective medical procedure.  The emotional toll can be almost overwhelming but, in clinics like Planned Parenthood, all aspects of a woman's health can be addressed.

3.  If women would prefer not to go through an abortion and men would prefer women not have to go through an abortion, then towards that end, some actions can be taken.  The following are examples:

MEN

a.  Educate yourself concerning the reproductive system within your own body and in that of your sexual partner.  The more you know about how the systems work, the better able you will be to prevent an unwanted pregnancy before it develops.
b.  If you are sexually active, get a vasectomy.  It is a quick operation performed under local anesthesia.  At the very least, use a contraceptive.  (A male latex condom has the highest rate of effectiveness for a contraceptive, male or female, at 86%.)
c.  Do whatever you can to make sure your sexual partners have access to birth control.
d.  Support those organizations that can provide access to safe birth control.  One example of such an organization includes Planned Parenthood.  Make every effort to be sure their doors stay open, that they are easily accessible, and that they are free from harassment of those who use their services.  Planned Parenthood also provides sexual health services for men as well as women.

WOMEN

a.  Do all in your power to keep yourself safe -- as much as is in your control.  For example, know how much alcohol you can drink and still keep yourself safe.
b.  Use contraceptives if you are sexually active.  (About 85% of sexually active women who do not use contraceptives become pregnant within a year.)  Consult with health clinics, such as Planned Parenthood, for a program of birth control.  Some contraceptives are more effective than others.  Demand that your sexual partner use birth control.
c.  Aside from contraceptives, abstaining totally from any sexual activity is the only other way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
d.  Be assertive, aggressive in your right to say no to any unwanted sexual advances.
e.  Protect yourself through learning as much about your health and reproductive system as you can.  The more you know, the better equipped you will be to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

If, in the end, the goal is to do away with abortions, then the practical thing to do is to prevent unwanted pregnancies.  Not all abortions can be prevented, like those that are needed because of rape or incest or because the pregnant woman and her doctor decide it is best for her health.  But the numbers can be reduced if men, as well as women, take responsibility for that prevention.

If we say that the reason we want to do away with abortions is a concern for life, then let's take a look.  Where is the concern for life when food for children in the SNAP program (food stamps) is reduced by billions in a Farm Bill?  Where is the concern for life when unemployment checks for families including children are discontinued?  Where is the concern for life when governmental programs that provide a safety net for families and children are continually assailed by Republicans?  No one can know for certain when life begins but we do know when children are hungry.  Walk the walk and forget the talk.

HOW DID I GET HERE:  Let the Barrage Begin 

It's mid-March, about two weeks since I filed as Democratic candidate for State House for District #40 in Montana.  I've made the decision not to withdraw but to continue in this experience through the election in November.  It is obvious, however, that official word has gotten out about my candidacy.  This has not yet occurred in my town, however -- it's still quiet here.  But there is now an official listing on the web of political candidates who have filed throughout the State.

How do I know this?  A barrage of emails, snail mail, and surveys have reached my door, but mostly email.  I did not realize how many demands would be made of a candidate the minute they file.

There are instructions from the Secretary of State about reports and deadlines that must be met throughout the campaign.  From the statewide Democratic office, come guidance and ideas which can be helpful.  Suggestions like ten tips for running a campaign I find useful.  Other services, such as learning more about the voters in my District, are available if I'm willing to pay for them.

There are surveys that arrive, one after the other, via either email or snail mail.  Besides the Montana Family Institute, there is a survey from Conservation Voters concerned about the water in Montana, from Planned Parenthood, from a gun-owners and hunters group, from Carol's List which is a group of women in political office who help other women candidates, from National Rifle Assoc., from NARAL which is a grass-roots pro-choice organization dedicated to protecting reproductive rights, from a group that calls itself Montana Campaign for Liberty, and from the Nat'l Assoc for Gun Rights with a return address of Fredericksburg, Virginia.  If I answer the surveys, I will be considered for endorsement as a candidate from those organizations.  The only organizations whose surveys I would even contemplate are Conservation Voters, Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and possibly Carol's List.  The remainder are all right-wing based.

Invitations arrive.  There is a reception sponsored by Billings Assoc., of Realtors.  There is a request to attend a Legislative Health Policy Discussion sponsored by four healthcare organizations in Billings.  There is a letter from the Montana Historical Society offering a tour of their Museum and Research Center along with a "behind the scenes" at the State Archives and Montana's Museum collections.

Ads appear, mainly through snail mail, for campaign paraphernalia that can be purchased:  yard signs, door hangars, banners, brochures, stickers, buttons, key tags, postcards, business cards, etc., etc.

I am overwhelmed.

I review my campaign strategy.  I understand now what is normally expected from a candidate running for office; it is represented in all that mail.  But I determine to follow my own plan, a suggestion first made to me when it was requested that I put my name on the November ballot.

I put the barrage behind me.  Instead, I focus on my campaign strategy of researching, writing, and answering questions.  I can attack all three by creating a blog on the internet.  But how do I create a blog?  I know what a blog is and, years ago, even had one set up by my husband.  But this time, I must do it myself.

YouTube is my teacher.  I study several different YouTube videos on Friday, begin a blog tentatively on Saturday morning and have a basic blog completed by evening.  Nagging questions about details are answered for me the next day by Sue, an expert in social media, at our UU congregation meeting.  I also make a Tuesday appointment with a local teacher, Megan, who is knowledgeable.  By Monday morning, though, I'm raring to go.  I take the chance it will work, and publish my first post on my blog.  It goes out through Facebook, my Twitter account and Google+.  Megan takes a look and gives me high praise.

What results is another barrage but this time, it is entirely welcome.  Emails/Facebook messages from friends and some family members stream in.  Some remind me of the Rosie the Riveter poster from WWII:  "You can do it!"  I'm off and running.

A SCHOOL ISSUE  

I open my newspaper today, April 2, and find a very attractive picture of Central School.  That is the name of the elementary school in the town of Roundup where I live, population 1,800.  Only this picture is not one I recognize.  In fact, I read that it is an artist's rendition of what the School could look like if it were "repurposed."

Roundup is a small, old-wild-west town located in the south central part of Montana.  Since its inception, Roundup citizens have committed themselves to providing for the education of those students living within Musselshell Valley.  The first school's location is probably in Old Roundup, south of Musselshell River and near the mouth of Half Breed Creek where the McMillan cabin could be found.  Mrs. James McMillan is the first teacher and begins classes in her cabin in 1882 without remuneration.  She has 13 pupils.  Throughout Musselshell County, 66 country schools will eventually come and go.

With the discovery of coal and the coming of the Milwaukee Railroad, the town moves to the north side of Musselshell River and takes the name of Roundup, changing the original village to Old Roundup.  In 1908 with miners' families arriving in this fledgling town, a one-room public school is constructed on the northeast corner of Second Street West and Second Avenue.  A year later in 1909, with the increasing population, a two-story, four-room wood building is constructed on the site now of Central School, just four blocks north and on the same street as the original school.

In 1911, the wood building is moved and replaced by the present-day stone structure.  The west side of it is built in 1911 and the east side in 1912, doubling its size.  This is the Central School, with additional modular rooms, that can be found in the center of town today.  This is the structure that could be "repurposed."

There have been attempts in the past to raise money for a new school building on the edge of town but all three school bond elections have failed.  It's been difficult for long-time residents to think their school might no longer be Central.  Decision-making is stalled.

Until now, that is.  Under the leadership of community leader, Bill Milton, a group made up of ranchers, business people, senior citizens, school officials and others have been meeting for more than a year.  Architects, strutural engineers, citizens, school personnel, and even support and advice from the Montana Historical  Preservation office have all been involved in discussions.  Past rejections, future projections, community priorities have been reviewed.  It is confirmed that Central School is fully suitable for long-term use as a school.  In the next few months, the School Board will be making a comparison in cost between building a new school and repurposing the old one and making a decision.  In the meanwhile, the community is requested to let the School Board know what they think.

This process of involving community so deeply in a decision about the future of the school is a win-win.  It is reminiscent of the early days when residents pull together to provide education to all students, no matter what it takes.  Whatever the final decision, it will be the right one.

(Source:  Roundup Record-Tribune, April 2, 2014)

 A PRAYER 
There has been a law created, Oh Diety, called the Affordable Care Act.  This law creates a Health Insurance Marketplace, a new way for individuals, families and small businesses to get health coverage.  It helps uninsured people find health coverage.  We beseech you, Oh Diety, to lend a helping hand in making sure all of our citizens receive this benefit.

NO!

It requires insurance companies to cover people with pre-existing health conditions.  Our insurance company can't turn us down or charge us more because of our pre-existing health or medical condition like asthma, back pain, diabetes, or cancer.

NO!

It helps us understand the coverage we are getting.  We have the right to get an easy-to-understand summary about a health plan's benefits and coverage.

NO! 

It holds insurance companies accountable for rate increases.  They are generally required to follow the 80/20 rule:  to spend at least 80% of the money they take in on premiums on our health care and quality improvement activities, instead of administrative, overhead, and marketing costs.

NO!  

It makes it illegal for health insurance companies to arbitrarily cancel our health insurance just because we got sick.  The health care law stops insurance companies from canceling our coverage just because we made a mistake on our insurance application. 

NO! 

It protects our choice of doctors, covers young adults under 26, and provides free preventive care.  We can choose any available primary care provider in our insurance plan's network.  We may be able to get insured under our parent's plan if we're under 26 ears old.  And there are many health plans that are required to cover certain preventive care services at no cost to us.

NO!  

It ends lifetime and yearly dollar limits on coverage of essential health benefits.  Insurance companies can't set a dollar limit on what they spend on essential health benefits for our care during the entire time we're enrolled in that plan.

NO! NO! NO!  

Wait a minute.  You aren't the Diety to whom we always pray.  Who are you anyway?  Who, did you say?  John Boehner?!  Ah, yes, that explains everything. 

(Source:  www.healthcare.gov) 

HOW DID I GET HERE:  Final Decision?

Today is the day.  It's Monday, March 10, and by 5:00 pm, I must make a final decision.  Shall I withdraw my name from the race or continue as the Democratic candidate for State House, District 40, in red Montana?

For a week now, I've been in shock, trying to adjust to the fact that I agreed to have my name put on the November ballot.  What does it all mean?  How will it effect my life?  How will it impact my daughter's life?  Do I really want to do this?

I'm free from any worry about what the Board might think; that hurdle is behind me.  I have not been chosen to serve on the Board of the organization for which I volunteer.  But I am concerned now about the true feelings of my daughter when it comes to my running for office as a Democrat.

She has lived with her husband in this red community much longer than I have.  She teaches at the local elementary school and has built close ties to friends.  She takes most things in stride when it comes to my projects but is not built like me and doesn't have a fire in her belly about politics.  In fact, she tends more towards moderation in most things.  I do not want to cause her any embarrassment because of my choices.  I determine early in this day to get her true feelings about this latest project.  She has been my co-conspirator over this past week and has not yet shared my secret with anyone.  But what does she really think?  This will help in determining my final decision.

In my journal-writing this morning, I create a title for this possible project:  Running Blue at 72 -- in a Red State.  It kind of has a rhythm to it.  When I propose it to my daughter, she too thinks it fits well.  She also tells me that whatever I decide to do, she will be O.K. with it.  It will not be a problem for her.  We are each our own person, she says, and I should do whatever I think is right for me.  Bless her.

It is now 2:00 pm, three hours left.  I suddenly get into a panic.  How will I do this?  I'm not an extrovert; I'm an introvert.  How do I think I can do all that is required?  What will be the results when it comes to die-hard opposition?  Will I be safe?  I can't confront people about what they should do.  I can't go around and knock on doors.  I really can't put myself out there in this way.

Immediately, I sit down at the computer and send out S.O.S. emails to sympathetic and trusted friends.  I tell them of my situation and panic and ask for advice, suggestions, feedback -- anything that could help.  I have three hours left, I say.  Within that period and even into the next day, to a person they respond with nothing but support and encouragement.  You can do this! they tell me.

Shortly before 5 pm, calmness overcomes my panic.  I know now what to do.  I discover in the pit of my stomach what I really want.  I want to go through this experience as a 72-year-old political-junkie neophyte, running blue in a red state.  How many other people do I know who have done this kind of thing?  But the kicker is that I want to write about it as I experience it -- that's what I really want.

The clock shows that 5 pm has come and gone; there's no going back.  I'm in -- for the long haul.

*Believe the Facts, Not the Fiction:  Negative side-effects of Obamacare have not materialized
 
 Fiction:  Obamacare will lead to a serious decline in full-time employment.
Fact:  The number of part-time workers has fallen while full-time employment has grown.  Since March, 2010, part-time workers has fallen by 300,000.  In 2013, full-time employment has grown by over 2 million.
 
Fiction:  Millions of Americans have lost their non-group, individual health insurance policy due to cancellations forced by Obamacare. 
Facts:
a.  Pre-Obama, ordinary changes in individual health insurance policies occurred from year to year and usually resulted in the consumer purchasing a new plan after a short period of time.  Since the non-group market is highly volatile, just 17 percent retain coverage for more than two years.
b.  Pre-Obama, close to 17 percent of individual policy holders were losing their individual market policies.  Similarly, 18.6 percent (roughly, 2.6 million people) had plans cancelled as a result of Obamacare.  This is a number well below the estimates of 5 million or considerably more being tossed about by Obamacare opposition.
c.  Those who say their health insurance policy was cancelled?  Over half is likely to be eligible for coverage assistance, mostly through marketplace subsidies.  They can enroll in a Medicaid program or receive subsidies on the healthcare exchanges.  Many if not most will be covered at a lower price while greatly improving the quality of coverage.  One million, then, will replace cancelled policies with something that may cost more.  This is far less dramatic, however, than what the Obamacare opposition has been saying.

Problem:  With detractors pushing dire effects of Obamacare rather than educating them, many people are not aware of new state Marketplaces, few know if their state expanded Medicaid, and many lack confidence to enroll, make choices and pay premiums.  As long as politicians, pundits and special interests continue to lie about what Obamacare means and what it does not mean to the American public, workable fixes that benefit the public and improve American health care cannot happen.  Facts matter. 

The latest:  In the last three months of 2013, there has been a drop from 17.1 percent to 15.9 percent of American adults that are uninsured.  This translates to 3 million to 4 million who are now getting coverage who did not have it before.  There has been improvement in all demographics except Hispanics.  According to Gallup, the number of Americans who still do not have health insurance coverage is on track to reach the lowest quarterly number since 2008. 

*Entirely taken from FORBES, Rick Unger, Contributor, March 10, 2014 

HOW DID I GET HERE:  Pins and Needles 

It is now four days since I file as Democrat for State House candidacy in the red state of Montana.  I have not slept well since then.  I've put myself in a position in this town of pushing upstream while the current is flowing downstream.  I don't know what's going to happen next.

I do know, however, that the next Sunday is the Annual Meeting of an organization for which I've been volunteering the past year.  At this meeting of the Board, a decision will be made about changing Board membership for the coming year.  I have been approached twice, once last fall and once this spring, by two different Board members about my interest in serving on the Board.  My original reaction is uncertainty since, get this, I prefer to do the volunteer work without getting involved in the politics of the organization!  Yeah, right!  But when the point is made that the Board is looking for people who are interested in the organization, I quickly affirm that yes, I am very interested.

The second person to ask about my interest in Board membership invites me to visit a Board meeting this spring prior to the one in which elections will take place.  She suggests that it will give me a chance to see how the Board works and decide whether or not joining it will be something I want to do.  I visit that meeting, observe the group and even feel comfortable enough to participate in a discussion.  This coming Sunday then are the elections.  I will be attending.

I am very nervous.  My filing on Monday is a secret between my daughter and myself.  What if word gets out too quickly about what I've done, that I've filed for elective office as a Democrat?  It might ruin my chances of being invited onto this Board.  Since first being approached, my interest in serving has increased and I'm looking forward to the possibility of an invitation.  I am aware that my name is already listed as a Democratic candidate on the Statewide legislative website.  I check after receiving my first survey.  Possibly someone on the Board has also seen that list, or has heard about it.  If so, will it have an impact on whether or not I'm invited on the Board?

In my head, I run through several scenarios.  My name will be brought up -- it only makes sense since I've been approached twice by different Board members.  The question then is how do I respond?  Do I tell them about my candidacy before the vote or just let it pass?  My worry is all about how big an impact my candidacy will have on the vote.

I walk toward the building where the Board meets.  One member doesn't seem to see me right away, not until I make a point of waving.  Another greets me soberly, making a point of the phone message she left, thanking me for installment of a faucet in one of the building's restrooms.  The meeting room is quiet as first arrivals begin arranging placement of tables and chairs.  I find a seat trying to be unobtrusive in this larger, more formal meeting of the Board.

Prior to the meeting's opening, a discussion across several tables between the President and Vice-President occurs.  In answer to the President's question as to proper procedure for elections, the Vice explains the slate of members for whom they will be voting.  There are the officers and then the rest of the slate.  It seems that all those who are currently serving will be up for re-election.  Am I hearing this correctly?  It seems I do.  The meeting is opened and the election passes quickly with no changes in Board membership.  My name is not brought up, not even mentioned.

I'm feeling embarrassed.  On my walk home, I review what has happened.  Did I miss something over the last month?  Should I have communicated with someone after the last meeting about my interest?  It's almost as if there were a discussion prior to this meeting and a decision made.

I'm devastated.  To what extent, if any, does my candidacy have on these elections?  I don't know.  But as several hours go by and I go over the meeting, my body begins to relax.  Maybe this is just the way things work in small towns.  My worries and concerns over what others might think begin to dissipate.  The Board elections are no longer a problem.  I'm free now, I realize, to act on my candidacy in the best way I see fit.  I begin to stand straighter, pull my shoulders back, and look forward to the challenge -- until tomorrow.  There are 24 hours before the deadline.  There's no going back after that.  Can I really do this thing?

A Race to the Bottom

This ad appears in the March 12, 2014, issue of our small-town newspaper:

"ATTENTION SENATE DISTRICT VOTERS:  Recently I have been informed by voters in Senate District 20 that my opponent Barry Usher has contacted them and told them that I had voted for Medicaid expansion.  This is untrue.  I did NOT vote for the expansion of Medicaid, in fact quite the contrary..."

The purpose of states' expansion of Medicaid in the Affordable Care Act is to enable those among us with the least amount of means, those earning 100 per cent below the poverty level, to receive affordable health care.  They would be able to qualify for federal subsidies and thus be able to purchase health care insurance.  Without Medicaid, they most probably cannot.

I can only surmise from the ad above that neither Mr. Ankney nor Mr. Usher want to be known for supporting Medicaid expansion in the Montana State Senate.  Are we really seeking the lowest common denominator now in our country:  see who can do the least to help those most in need?

During 2001-2003, my husband and I serve as Peace Corps Volunteers in Straldja, Bulgaria.  Daily, we can see reminders of the country's poverty, particularly that of the older generation:  pensioners (mostly women) who walk several miles into the country to gather twigs and branches, bundle them onto their backs, and carry them home for heat.  Wheelchairs for the disabled are nowhere to be seen.  Questions from pensioners always for us are about how much money we make as Americans; there is no such thing as Social Security in Bulgaria, no safety net on which to depend.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars for having been born in America.

Now I wonder.  Where is our country headed if the "Party of No" continues to lead us ever downward?  Efforts to trash the Affordable Care Act are only one example.  Others include attacks on Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, pensions built up over years of work, school lunches, Head Start, the SNAP program (providing food for working families whose wages can't meet basic needs), etc. -- many benefits about which Bulgarians are so envious.  Meanwhile, there is a segment of our population that is doing very well.  The Koch brothers are an example.  Could people like them, the ones spending billions of dollars on GOP political races, be the reason that those running for office have lost all sense of neighborly decency, empathy, and compassion?  That it's really about the almighty dollar?

Are we becoming a country known more for its poverty rather than for its plenty?  Poverty in spirit as well as poverty in our own economic well-being?  Is this where we are headed -- in a race toward the bottom?

HOW DID I GET HERE:  Do I Really Want to Continue?

Late Monday, March 3, 2014, I file as a Democratic candidate for State House in Montana.  I have been convinced by the Field Director, Montana Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, that my name is needed on the ballot in November.  All it takes is completing a form from the web, emailing it back to the Office of Secretary of State, and include a $15 filing fee.  Too easy.  Then comes the request for a completion of two more forms.  Impatient but resigned, I finish them in due course.

It's Thursday morning and the sky hasn't fallen -- yet.

I find two official-looking pieces of mail in my box.  The first is from the Secretary of State, confirming that indeed I am now a candidate running for statewide office.  I turn to the second one with a return stamp, officious "MONTANA" in red on the top line and, in smaller print below, "Family Institute".  Uh-oh.  Is it what I think?  I really don't want to know but I must open it anyway.

My heart drops to my stomach when I quickly review the letter and enclosed survey.  As I suspected, this survey reflects issues propounded by the right wing.  Statements are framed according to how they see the world.  Topics range from schools (funding of public schools, allowing charter schools and home schools and state regulation) and healthcare (Medicaid, "domestic partners", companies opting out of Obamacare, abortion) to issues around "homosexuals" and sexual orientation.  It ends with three statements about taxes, one statement about the 2nd Amendment (firearms) and the last statement about global warming and increased regulation.

As is typical of right-wing thought (everything is either black or white), the greatest percentage of statements begin with shoulds:  "should allow, should be allowed, should be prohibited, should be expanded, should be amended" (reminds me of our parents telling us children what we "should" do when we were little).

Examples of statements include (responses graduate from Strongly Support to Strongly Oppose):  "Abortion should be prohibited in all circumstances";  "Abortion should be prohibited, except in cases of rape, incest, or when the life of the mother is in danger".  Nowhere is there a statement about a decision concerning pregnancy being made between a woman and her doctor; only that "abortion should be prohibited..."  Two other examples are:  "Homosexuals should be allowed to adopt children"and "Anti-discrimination laws should be expanded to protect sexual orientation in the same way that race, creed, nationality, and religion are protected".  Nowhere is there an understanding that (1) children thrive in homes where there are warm and loving adults whether they are both male, both female or one of each, and (2) judging discrimination according to who people love is still discrimination.  What difference does it make to any other individual who loves who?!

Government intrusion?  In spades!

Oh, and if I choose not to complete the survey?  This organization tells me they will go back into voting records, public statements I've made, voter guides and my party's platform to find answers.  So be it.

But a groan escapes.  Do I really want to put myself through this?