PLOMing -- again

I got word the other evening from Carol's List that they are endorsing me as a pro-choice Democratic candidate for MT State House District 40 (Carol's List is the Montana group that works in conjunction with Emily's List, the national group that helps pro-choice Democratic women attain public office).  I stood up a little straighter and stuck out my chest a little further.  What an honor!  I've also been invited to attend a one-day training session with other endorsees of Carol's List in Helena in a week's time -- and to bring my "key campaign staff or lead volunteer".  I went to bed feeling excited and hopeful.  This is one endorsement for which I'd been encouraged to apply, and it has come through.  I'll celebrate and make plans tomorrow, I tell myself.

In the clear light of day, however, reality hits.  The catch in this whole thing is that there is no one with whom I can truly celebrate and I have no "key campaign staff or lead volunteer" to go with me to the training.  Running "blue" for office in a very "red" part of a "red" state can be a lonely endeavor.  This was true last time around in 2014, but that was an experiment and not taken too seriously.  This time my goal is to be out in the community, starting a conversation, mostly listening and learning, and also sharing my point of view (knowing full well that achieving election is a long way down the road, if ever -- gotta start somewhere though).

After several days of PLOMing (Poor Little Ole Me), I've decided to reframe my whole outlook, pulling myself out of this funk.  I can view this episode as an opportunity instead of a drawback.  How do I do that?

1.  Face the fact that I am a volunteer.  I get to choose where and how I spend my energies and my time.  If that's true, I must take responsibility for those choices and accept any results coming from them, whether positive or negative.
2.  Remind myself that change is a part of life (as I remind my daughter).  Life is different now than when I was in my thirties, forties.  Then, there were many other women who felt as I did, who changed with the times, who came to realize their own worth and to build on it. We formed consciousness-raising groups, encouraged and supported each other along the way.
     Now the "red-headed-ness" tenor of the country tries to quash that in any way possible.  "We know what's best for you," they say, "particularly if you're poor.  We will go backwards and take away your rights to affordable healthcare, to decide what is best for you when it comes to all healthcare including abortions.  We will not help you reach your full potential:  no equal pay for equal work, no affordable child care, no healthy planet on which to live, no being different from us, etc. etc.  It's NO!NO!NO!"  I can scream sometimes with the frustration of it all!
3.  Understand that there is at least one advantage to aging.  One can learn from past experience and become wiser in the process.  As tempting as it may seem at times, I will not go back to a time of non-awareness (as on "I Love Lucy" in other words).  I will not un-learn all the lessons from the past.
4.  Re-visit my actions and desires since moving to Montana.  How can I take what I've been doing and turn that into a meaningful, more uplifting project for the foreseeable future?  This election process in which I'm involved can be much more than imposing my viewpoint on others.  Through listening and learning from local residents, I can better appreciate their experiences and value their approach to life.  In that process, I learn more about our town -- as it is, as it was.  Much of the written history has been written by men, focused on men, like miners and ranchers, but very little on women and what they've achieved.  It's time to change that.
     Aging is not an easy process, for men or women.  I'm aware that one way for men to find solace and understanding in that process is to relate to other men through common ground, even if philosophies of life may differ.  For example, if enjoyment comes through a hobby or sports, relating to others on that level brings about a camaraderie that can transcend other differences.  The same thing can be true with women.  In my case, a greater understanding of other women's experiences, finding commonalities in our backgrounds despite philosophical differences, can bring about greater appreciation for their (and my) unique paths in life (hasn't worked so far with my sisters but maybe it's too early to give up).
     It's for this reason that recently I had been considering researching the process of aging in women.  Research would take the form of interviews with older women, learning from them how they have been able to work with the hand they'd been dealt.
5.  Use suggestions from others in the community (longtime residents and particularly female, those women who describe themselves as moderate Republicans -- and there is at least one, younger community activists) who will help guide my path.

Along the way, I may be able to complete a goal I'd set for myself in 2013.  It was to tell the stories of women in our community, compile them into one volume, and include them as part of the archives in Musselshell Valley Historical Museum (on whose Board I still sit).  What better culmination to a project that originally looked so daunting (activities connected to election-running, learning more about area history through eyes of women, create a bond with women who seem to sit on another side of the proverbial fence, and complete a long-held goal).

All the steps above can be achieved, more gradually than not.  But, if anything goes right at all, it may be that in my eyes, "red" won't seem so red, nor "blue" so blue.  If we get to purple and create some authentic understanding among us, that will be a healthy improvement!  And maybe a lot less PLOMing...