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Friday, December 30, 2016

RESIST:  Just say YES!

As a child growing up in the Midwest Bible Belt, we five children were constantly being told, "NO!"  "No, you can't dance.  No, you can't go to the movies.  No, you can't play cards."  There were so many "no's", they overrode any "yes's" that may have been a healthy part of our lives.

The natural reaction was to question its meaning -- and rebel.  "No, Mexicans and Muslims are bad people and can no longer come into our country.  No, Planned Parenthood cannot continue to provide women health care -- it must be defunded.  No, Obamacare must be repealed and no longer serve millions with their only health care."

Rebel!  Resist!  Question the call from Donald and fellow Republican leaders.  Remember the "Tower of Power" is, in reality, a buffalo jump (see previous post).  Tweets that emanate from his tower are intended to confuse, to make us jump, to keep us in line.  If we follow him, we are headed for our own demise while he steps aside, enriching himself through his businesses from which he refuses to divest.  (By the way, where is the news conference at which he is supposed to explain how he plans to do away with his conflict of business interests?)

For some, it is all the "No's" that produce the energizing call to resist.  For others, however, the framework from which we operate needs to come from a place of "Yes! Yes!  Yes!"

President Barack Obama reminded us in 2008 that "Yes we can!"  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reminded us in 2016 that we are "Stronger Together!"  Aren't those the messages to which most of America responded when Barack won his election - twice - and Hillary won the popular vote this year beating Donald by almost 3 million people?  Aren't those the messages we hear when we remember words placed on the Statue of Liberty, called The Colossus?

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.  From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips.  "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" 

What makes our country great?  It is just for the very calls that Barack and Hillary made.  It is for the sonnet that appears on our Statue of Liberty.  This is what we remember -- and must never forget!

What is the message our country seeks to live and send out to the rest of the world?  Read again the Preamble to our Constitution.  Read again our Bill of Rights.  Name the issues that stem from those documents and, in practical terms, provide our vision*:

a.  An economy works best when all benefit
b.  Terrorism stems from other than a particular religious faith
c.  A foreign policy begins with respect for all cultures
d.  Health care is a right for all
e.  A gun policy begins with the premise that greater numbers of guns (and greater power of guns) means greater misuse of guns; innocent people die
f.  Immigration policy begins with the understanding that we all began as immigrants.  This is a factor that makes our country great.
g.  Social security is paid for by America's workers.  It returns to them when it's most needed.
h.  All American citizens have a right to public education.  Public funds, our taxes, pay for public schools -- they do not pay for private education (neither secular - charter schools - nor parochial).
i.  Supreme Court appointments follow tradition:  They are filled at the time a vacancy appears
j.  Treatment of racial and ethnic minorities is no different than treatment of the majority.

Do you agree that these issues make up a vision for our country?  Do you agree that if we hold that vision as a constant in our memory, we can say YES to whatever supports it?

This is our YES!  As a team working together, we can evaluate everything coming out of the new administration.  Does it support the vision we have for our country?  If it doesn't, we commit to an action that does support our vision.  Choose what that action will be (call legislators, write letters to legislators, correct false comments/tweets coming from Donald, use Facebook to call out errors/lies when they appear, support Standing Rock, read The Nation, just take action).

YES, this is our vision.  YES, we will work together to achieve our vision.  YES, we will do whatever it takes to make our vision a reality.


*Issues were sponsored by National Public Radio in "From the Economy to Race, See Where the Candidates Stand on the Big Issues", authored by Meg Anderson, October 18, 2016.


 

 

Monday, December 5, 2016

TOWER OF POWER

Two stories:  Ever hear of a buffalo jump?  How about radio towers from the 1940's?  Both are a part of our country's history and both exist today, in spirit if not in actuality.

Buffalo jump sites exist in the state of Montana.  The buffalo jump was used by the Blackfeet tribe to efficiently maim buffalo so they could be killed with spears and bows.  "Hides [of the buffalo] were used for clothes and shelter, bones for tools, sinews for bowstrings and laces.  Hooves could be ground for glue, and the brains could be used in the tanning process for hides.  Extra meat was preserved as pemmican."  The buffalo jump was a communal hunt dating as far back as 12,000 years ago and lasted until 1500 C.E., until about the time of the horse's arrival.*

How was the buffalo jump conducted?  Meriwether Lewis describes it in the Lewis and Cl ark Expedition:  "one of the most active and fleet young men is selected and disguised in a robe of buffalo skin...he places himself at a distance between a herd of buffalo and a precipice proper for the purpose:  the other Indians now surround the herd on the back and flanks and at a signal agreed on all show themselves at the same time moving forward towards the buffalo; the disguised Indian or decoy has taken care to place himself sufficiently near the buffalo to be noticed by them when they take flight and running before them they follow him in full speed to the precipice; the Indian (decoy) in the mean time has taken care to secure himself in some cranny in the cliff...the part of the decoy I am informed is extremely dangerous."

The story of the buffalo jump recurs as I awake full of dread.  I feel like one of those buffalo; my country feels like that herd of buffalo.  We are being led to the cliff by a decoy.  Just as in the story, Trump is the decoy, dressed to look like the rest of us; he tries to make that connection in his rallies.  He's drawing us ever closer to the edge of the cliff to our demise.  But he fools us because he's planned a way to save himself:  he will enrich his businesses and his family at the expense of the safety of our country.

What has happened?  Donald Trump is naming ultra-rich members to his Cabinet.  Since when have most ultra-rich looked out for anyone other than themselves?  Donald claims inaccurately that not only did he win the electoral vote but also the popular vote since millions of the undocumented voted illegally.  There is no evidence to support this claim.  The truth is that Hillary won the popular vote with 2.5 million more votes than Donald.  The media do not speak up with one voice against this lie.  When in the past we may have been able to depend on the media for objective reporting, that is no longer the case.  Fear rules them.  Fear rules the country.  We are at the mercy of Donald's tweets.

In the 1940's, radio was in full swing.  Air waves carried the news and entertainment to the country.  They emanated from towers that passed the signals from radio stations to our radio consoles at home.  In cartoons, those radio signals were depicted as small bolts of lightning coming off high, triangular, steel towers.

Today, those bolts of lightning represent Donald's tweets.  He sits in his Trump tower in New York and, at any time of day even 3:00am, he tweets out his messages.  It's a signal heard 'round the world.  Trump supporters feel emboldened; they enact whatever menace they desire.  At the very least, they spit on those who offend them; pull off scarves worn by women who are Muslim; scream obscenities at Uber drivers.  Tweets are the new bolts of lightning once used to depict radio signals.  They now emanate from Trump tower.

It feels like we as a country are at his mercy.  We are a herd of buffalo heading senselessly toward a cliff.  We see it; we know it.  But fear is the name of the game.  We are surrounded by Trump's ultra-rich cabinet, by Trump hangers-on who see visions of enriching themselves at our expense like Paul Ryan (Speaker of the House of Representatives) and Jason Chaffetz (Chairman of the United States House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform).  No effort is made by them to assure that traditional checks and balances will be put into play.  No effort is made to investigate conflicts of interest Trump has around the world.  No effort is made to do the job for which they are paid.  We are headed to a cliff.  Tweets from Trump tower keep us in line.

Is there any hope?  Next time...

*Wikipedia 

Sunday, November 27, 2016

What's new?  Pickleball and writing, that's what

The quickest way to meet my ultimate destination is to sit back, relax in my rocking chair, and keep doing the things I've always done.  I know how to do them; there are no surprises; there are no challenges.  If that's true, then how does one keep growing?  Does it mean that, just because I'm getting older, I should stop growing?  I should stop trying new skills, new methods of working, new ways of thinking?

Growing is something children do.  They are on a fast track in changing physically, mentally, psychologically.  Every year brings about an adjustment, a major change from the year before.  The speed of that change moderates as a person matures.  An older person, of course, continues to change as well.  The stereotype is that change comes in the slowing-down, the moderating even more, of physical, mental, and psychological growth.  Some people might even contend that the change is moving backwards; that growth stops and the older person is going "downhill".

I refuse to see myself in that light.  I must push against the temptation to acquiesce, to give in, to say "I'm getting too old for this".  Thus, my first lesson in pickleball is coming this Friday night. 

At the YMCA, I have an exercise program.  Every other day, I pull on my exercise duds, drive about a mile or two to downtown, cross a busy street from the parking lot, enter the building, and climb the stairs to the track.  Walking 17 times around gives a mile's worth of cardio.  My usual is one and a half miles which is a full half-hour.  Another half-hour is working on both upper body and lower body strength by pushing, pulling, raising arms and legs on seven different machines in the Power Room.

On in-between days, I just walk the track.  That's when I notice this past Friday two individuals on the gym floor below.  The man seems to be instructing the woman on how to play pickleball -- at least, that's what I finally figure out.  On different days, I've seen and heard 12 to 16 people, maybe fewer, smacking a ball back and forth across their net, similar to badminton only the ball is heavier (no birdie) and the net is lower.  It always looks like fun -- lots of chatting, laughing back and forth.

As I watch this lesson below, my thought is, "I can do this.  No problems in the past with my physical coordination.  Not as sure about my stamina but many of the people playing are older.  So what do I have to lose?  I'll stop by this week, meet the instructor, and schedule a lesson for Friday." (I'll keep you posted.)

Keeping up/excelling physically is one type of growth.  Another has to do with using one's mind.  In my case, that's writing.  I write every morning in a journal.  I write stories and share them with my small writing group as well as on my blog.  I write family stories for Christmas gifts.  Letters from Bulgaria while a Peace Corps volunteer, self-help articles on career redirection, reflective stories based on my own experiences have all been published in newspapers in Florida and Montana.  So I think I know what I'm doing when volunteering to write an article for MSUB's The Retort, the newspaper for MT State University Billings.  The editor is a fellow student in our Writing Workshop class.

I'm currently on my sixth draft.  This is after I interview four nontraditional students to find out what qualifies them to be nontraditional, what motivates them, how they juggle responsibilities, and what they recommend for others.  The tapes are transcribed and compiled into an outline.  From there, my first two drafts are completed.

"Is it alright if I edit your article?" asks the editor.  I'm on my way out the door after taking him the photo that will accompany my article.

"Of course," I say.

"I may have to edit a whole section."

"Sure, do whatever you have to do."  For the rest of the afternoon, I keep repeating to myself, "a whole section"  A whole section?  A whole SECTION?"

By chance, I have a scheduled lunch with another fellow classmate the next day.  She is an experienced writer -- 20+ years with the Billings Gazette.  She identifies the specific format that is used by newspaper writers.  Amazing.  Never knew this.  Never noted it in my newspaper reading.

By email to the editor, I request the opportunity to learn this craft by reworking my draft.  Six hours on Friday brings about several more drafts, a more sexy title that includes "success strategies".  Each of the three strategies is identified and combined with the student story that best illustrates it.  These students are hard-working nontraditional students (one of which is my editor) -- they use all three strategies (network/volunteer while still in school; follow your passion; and never, ever give up -- it'll be hard but worth it).  Today, I'll look over the article and decide if it needs more fine-tuning.

Learning a new skill, whether physical or mental, can be a humbling experience.  However, it's an opportunity of which I want to take advantage.  Learning isn't for youth any more.  It can happen throughout one's life; it can give meaning to life; and it can help one grow -- at any age.






 

Friday, November 25, 2016

A Cook Isn't Really a Cook when...

1.  She sees a new recipe on the web, reads it, pronounces it special and decides to make it for the family holiday meal.  Ingredients like shallots and Guyere cheese sound intriguing.  No matter that her daughter tells her she dislikes Brussels sprouts.  Of course, she'll like it.  After all, the recipe testimonial says she's not crazy for Brussels sprouts either but she really likes this recipe!

2.  She will brook no substitutes for any ingredients in the recipe -- none!  Like "thick, sliced bacon"?  No turkey bacon from the fridge for this recipe; it's too thin, too fat-less.  Like shallots?  She has regular white onions in her crisper drawer in the fridge.  Nope.  Got to go to the grocery store, ask the clerk what shallots are, then be led over near the squash, and get educated on the taste of shallots.  Like Guyere cheese?  Never heard of that.  She's got some yellow cheddar cheese.  That will not do, not exotic enough.  She can hunt for Guyere cheese in the dairy display at the store.  Last but not least, Kosher salt and freshly ground black papper?  She spends at least 15 minutes in the spice aisle looking first for Kosher salt (gets the last one) and then across to the opposite side of the store to the "gadget shelf" across from the pharmacy.  "That's where the pepper grinders are," says the clerk.  Luckily, it's already filled with black pepper.

3.  She gets ready the next morning by pulling out all the equipment she will need, taking up all available work space on the counter.  Pans; bowls; knives; measuring cups (one for flour, one for milk); cutting boards (one for bacon, one for shallots); mixing spoons; and a bouillon cube to make chicken broth.

4.  She measures her flour by shaking the newly-open flour bag over her measuring cup.  Luckily, it is over the sink that she does this, although a little mound of white stuff does end up on the floor by her foot.

5.  She isn't sure what it means to "blanch the sprouts".  However, when she follows instructions to drop sprouts into medium-boiling salt water for 3 to 7 minutes, the sprouts turn more white and she understands:  blanch means "to whiten".

6.  She envisions in her mind that she'll brag to family today about creating this delicious dish with all its complexities.

7.  She pulls out the bubbly, cheesy, concoction from the oven at the ringing of the timer and renders it done!  Perfecto!  Only it does look a little flat.  As she glances around, near the sink she sees a bowl of cut-up shallots.  Can she save the recipe?  Of course.  Add the shallots to the top and reheat at daughter's house.  Son-in-law pronounces it good!  Cook pronounces it good!  Daughter gags, poor thing.  Next time, believe her when she says she doesn't like Brussels sprouts!


 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

I AM AFRAID

I am afraid.  There are no more norms.  Norms of decency, norms of civil discourse, norms of how our government works so that transition from one administration to the next protects us from conflicts of interest.  The Trump's are coming; they are leading white supremacists; they are taking over our country.  Russia's Putin has their ear.

In the past, there are questions.  How does a whole country of people like Germany allow a little pipsqueak of a man like Hitler to take over, rule the country, exterminate millions?  Now I know.  I feel it.

Trump stokes fear, eggs it on.  It's us versus them, he says.  A loud minority of haters grows and champions this person, this Hitler, this Trump.  They give the leader, this Hitler, this Trump, carte blanche to do as he will.  That voice, that contingent of haters, drowns out voices of reason.

Some say our country has started down a path to the unknown.  That isn't true.  If we continue on this journey, we end up just as Nazi Germany:  People will be afraid (refer to my first sentence).  Countering voices will be/are drowned out.

The ruling party, the Nazi's, Trump supporters, decides what will be done.  Who can they overcome now that they are in power?  Why, it's the people who are different from them:  different skin color, different religion, different gender, different sexual orientation.  Anybody who isn't the same as they must be destroyed.

"Get 'em out!" Trump screams at his campaign rallies.  "Kill them," screams Hitler to his crowds of supporters.  Loyal soldiers follow his orders.  Supporters pounce on dissenters and it's the dissenters who are thrown out, arrested, killed.

How does this story end?  How does Nazi Germany end?  It rots from the inside out.

We as a country have created this monster and it's we as a country who must see that the monster is stopped.  Stand up; speak out.  We, in this country of diversity, are the majority.  We overcome our fears; we decide our own future.  We are strong.  We come together.  We act. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

CHANGE?  No Slam Dunk!

It begins last Thursday with a small click sound.  My alarm is set and I awake immediately thinking the alarm is going off -- only it's 15 minutes early.  The day before, the repair guy for my apartment comes and changes the battery in my hallway smoke alarm located in the ceiling.  It is going off intermittently with short beeps.  But, before he leaves, the beeps start again.  He thinks the alarm is old, goes over to the hardware store, purchases a new smoke alarm and installs it.  The click I hear is nothing.

Friday I awake at 5 am to regularly spaced beeps from the smoke alarm.  I groan - this is supposed to be fixed!  I pull out my ladder, climb up, and twist off the cap so I can take out the battery.  Can't get my finger in far enough to get a hold of it.  I'll take my shower then decide what to do, I tell myself.  Lo and behold, I hear no more beeping.  Maybe dampness from my shower has an effect?  I leave early for my weekly trip to Roundup.

Saturday there is intermittent beeping.  Lori arrives and when I complain, she climbs the ladder and starts to remove the cap.  But then I remember how difficult it can be to get to the battery and ask her to forget it.  I know the repair guy will return on Monday to hang a new ceiling fan in the dining area.  I will have him check it then.  After our return from the store, there is no more beeping and I hope against hope that there will be no more problems.  If so, I can always turn on the shower, I reason, and it will stop.

Sunday, at 12:30 am, the beeping starts.  I run the shower 15 minutes -- no effect.  I try the fan over my stove -- no effect.  So strange.  The beeping seems to happen only at night and is mostly quiet during the day.  Is there something inside my apartment that is causing it to go off?  I write until about 2:30 am and, just as I turn out my light and relax, up starts the beeping again.  I cover my head with a pillow and sleep fitfully.  Beeps come at regular 10-minute intervals.

Monday, the beeping begins at 2 am.  I close the door to my room and cover my head with a pillow.  Again, I sleep fitfully.  The repair guy arrives and starts the process of removing the old fan.  One beep, then another emanates from the smoke alarm.

"Hear that?" I say.  He does.  With his fingers formed into the shape of a gun, he shoots in the direction of the beeps.  I explain all I've tried to do to stop it.

"None of that would make any difference," he tells me.  He says that batteries sometimes sit too long on store shelves.  He replaces the battery with a new one and goes back to working on the fan.  In the bedroom, I am transcribing a taped interview and hear the beeps, this time they're louder -- like the new battery does nothing but create louder beeps!  I say this to him while he works on the fan.  Something seems to click in his brain.

"Is this the only smoke alarm you have?"

We practically run down the hall, check around the corner in the bedroom, and there is the culprit:  a white smoke alarm hardly noticeable on a white-painted wall not more than a few feet from the one in the hallway.  The repair guy removes the battery and goes back to his fan installment.

"If the beeping stops, we'll know where the problem is." He's right of course.  No beeping.  A new battery is placed in the second smoke alarm, the presence of which I haven't noticed in the four months I've lived here.  Blessed relief!

This is just one example of some difficulties that arise in the process of moving to a new place.  It takes time to adapt to all surroundings.  It takes time to absorb differences.  What seems normal in one place may be entirely different in another, even better.  But it doesn't happen all at once.

The same can be said of changes in the Presidency of our country.  As I write this on Election Day, 2016, I'm confident that our Hillary will be the next President of the United States.  If that is true, and I hope it is, there will be changes.  Our country will need to adapt to our new surroundings.  We will have to absorb differences.  We will need to adjust to a President that happens to be a woman!  It doesn't happen all at once.  What we can be sure of, however, is that Hillary will work hard, persist in bringing about positive change, and never give up on herself or on our country!  How do we know that?  She tells us.  She models it during the election process and long before.  Believe her!

Sunday, October 30, 2016

BELIEVE IT!

What we see before our very eyes is what women have known in their bones.  Another male (ignoring counsel from a female department head) is using innuendo to condemn a woman who is competing for a (thus far) male job.  Whatever the facts surrounding Comey-gate, this is what it all boils down to.

Let him try; let all the dissenters try -- they have yet to stop her.  Hillary is training us well.  We too can achieve self-confidence through fighting back.  We too can increase our ability to overcome barriers.  We too can show persistence in reaching our goals.  And we too, like Hillary can say we will never, ever give up! 

Monday, October 24, 2016

THE TRUMP EFFECT

More than any other presidential election, this one with Hillary Clinton as our probable winner makes me feel exceptionally proud.  I imagine it's much like how African-Americans feel in 2008 when Barack Obama becomes our first black president.  Never before have I been able to say that the President of the United States looks like me!  For girls, there are no words to express the impact that Hillary's Presidency will have on them.  They will be reminded every day of possibilities that now exist for them  The effect it will have on their self-confidence is immeasurable.

On the other hand, for me there is a very real Trump Effect.  I'm not sure if this exists for others as it does for me.  What is it?  About a month ago, in my front window I display a large Hillary sign.  There is one also for our Democratic Governor Bullock, for our Democratic Senate candidate, Denise Juneau (who is also Native American by birth), and several others for down-ballot races.  Last week, I remove all my signs from the window.

The Trump Effect is fear -- fear for my own safety.  Who knows what kind of reason a Trump loser might need to take out their anger on a Hillary winner?  Based on what I learn about Trump supporters, it doesn't even have to be a neighbor.  It can be any crazy that is set off by an in-your-face sign -- they can be just as trigger-happy as their leader Donald.  My only consolation is that I continue to make phone calls for Hillary at the phone bank, urging folks to get out and vote for her.

I know that it's not over until it's over.  And my fears may be unfounded.  But if Hillary wins, it will be a huge celebration for a majority of women and many men.  Every day that I turn on the news and hear Hillary's increasing poll numbers; every time I see more confidence and enthusiasm in the faces of Hillary supporters, even political pundits; every time I hear the fact that morale in the Hillary camp is rising --  I feel so grateful to be living at this time in history.

Hillary is the very embodiment of the saying, "In order to be successful, a woman has to work twice as hard as a man."  Not only has she had to face over-the-top barriers in past years, but also the radical lies that have been told in this campaign, all the physical and grueling aspects of this campaign.  She's endured all the mud-slinging and is still overcoming barriers today.  In order for her to convincingly win this election (so Donald can't call foul), she works to make the winning margin so great that there's no room to call the election rigged.  Russian-sponsored Wikileaks be damned!  

Today my morale rises as well.  Hillary is in New Hampshire at a rally.  Out onto the stage walks the Democratic Governor Margaret Hassen, the Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren, and the next Democratic President of the United States, Hillary Clinton.  Three powerful leaders who just happen to be women; what a team.  The best part?  This is the start of something big! (with apologies to the song-writer).

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

A LEAP -- into the Unknown

Right where I need to be!  This is my feeling as I begin writing this morning.  It's the learning, making connections with others, feeling challenged to write and to write well.  Giving and receiving ideas, suggestions on how to make writing better.  Feeling one with the group.  Seeing respect and acceptance in the eyes of others, students, instructors.

How long has it been since I know I'm exactly where I need to be?  Years, I think.  Teaching, heading back to school for advanced degrees, running a school, raising a daughter, teaming with a partner, consulting, volunteering for Peace Corps in Bulgaria, writing off and on -- all have their benefits.  All bring rewards.

But now -- this is different.  This is the first time in my life I'm living totally alone.  I can be and do as I please.  Lo and behold, I think I've found my niche!

It hasn't come easily.  After my husband passes in New Mexico, I move lock, stock and barrel to Roundup, MT.  My daughter and her husband live near Roundup.  To be near family seems a natural move.  Giving back to the community in different ways (in other words, volunteering) in Roundup turns out to be a gift to myself in return.

Volunteering at the Musselshell Valley Historical Museum has been of great benefit.  What joy to read, learn of stories from the past, and share them with interested visitors.  It's not Louis L'Amour or Zane Grey, even.  It's better; it's the real McCoy.  These are genuine articles, stories written about/by ranchers, settlers, miners and mysterious situations that may or may not have happy endings.  More to the point, they can (and have been) fodder for others' writing as well as my own, both fiction and nonfiction.

After four years, a shift in family circumstances allows for a new lease on life.  I leave my daughter, my house, and Roundup (just not my Museum Board membership).  Feeling scared, nervous, more than a little unsure of myself, I move to Billings.  Out of all the activities for which I've signed up, the Writing Workshop at Montana State University Billings (MSUB) has been most rewarding -- for all the reasons above (Introduction to Windows 10 through Community Education comes in second).  Accepting challenge, learning new concepts and contacts, making progress -- this is the thing!  And the reward.

Got a chance to take a leap?  Just do it.  It's worth every step of the way. 

Monday, October 3, 2016

Down the Rabbit Hole

Up is down and down is up in the world of make-believe.  Alice finds all manner of confusion and disorientation in her Adventures in Wonderland.  Donald Trump must find this story very comforting since that is the kind of world he seems to inhabit -- assuming, of course, that he can focus long enough to hear it.

The list of up-down and down-up situations is too long to categorize here (and is on-going as we speak).  However, here are a few current nuggets.
  •  He considers himself "smart", a "genius" because he has lost so much money in business that it's very likely he has paid no taxes for about 18 years.
  • He has done so well in his three marriages that he can now criticize Hillary for her one marriage.
  •  He considers his best qualification for the presidency to be his temperament -- the one characteristic critical thinkers in our country find a total failure.
  • Just because he wrote a check for research on business possibilities conducted in Cuba during the embargo doesn't mean he's done any business in Cuba.  All illegal of course.
  •  As recently as this morning (10/3/16), Donald speaks to retired military brass and voices his concern about protecting our country's cyber security from countries like China, Russia, etc.   Not more than a month ago, Donald himself calls upon Russia to hack computers in our country.
Lewis Carroll must be turning over in his grave to think someone might compare his tale to the likes of Donald Trump.  With apologies to Carroll, this is the only world about which Donald has any knowledge.  The real world needs interpreters to spell out the meaning of Donald's words -- and they still make no sense.

His surrogates are beginning to show signs of physical strain required to continually explain that up is down and down is up.  Examples?
  • Pence in a recent interview on MSNBC can't wear enough makeup to cover large, dark spots on his face.
  • Guiliani, also in a recent interview, seems to get his tongue all twisted around in his mouth when trying to explain why Donald is a genius.
  • The facial expression of Boris, in a question-and-answer session, is telling.  His eyes go dead, his mouth droops, his shoulders slouch and his voice becomes an automaton.  It sounds like remnants of Stepford Wives and he's one of the wives.
Is this our world if Donald becomes our President?  Can a working knowledge of Lewis Carroll's book be of any comfort?  Honestly?  I don't think we have a hope in the world if there is ever a President Trump.  

Saturday, September 17, 2016

LITERACY NARRATIVE

Before one writes, one reads.  A lot.  How did you begin to read?  What did you read?  What did it mean to you?  My college writing-workshop instructor, author Craig Lancaster, asks us to write it down.  Here's mine.

"Come, Martha Jean.  Edith Ann?  Carol Louise, Bud, Sis?  It's time to read before bed," calls Mom.  From different points in the house, we gather in the living room and quietly find a place to sit.  Dad is already seated in his sedate but comfortable chair by the reading lamp.  The Bible is in his lap.  When we're ready, he opens it to a place sometimes marked, sometimes not.  His voice begins quietly, steadily, reverent in every aspect.  When he stops and closes the book, we know it's time to kneel at our place for prayers.

From before my birth, this is the tradition followed by my father's father, and his family of eight:  devotions and prayers before bed.  Nothing interferes, not even an errant mouse.  "William, go get the broom."  Reading is on hold until William captures and eliminates the rodent --after which reading takes up again. 

The Bible is the mainstay, the foundation of our family's reading, my reading.  This is where it begins.  Every day of every year from birth until I leave for college and then marriage, reading the Bible aloud is a basic tradition.  Are there benefits to Bible reading this often, this long?  That never occurs to me until I start writing this narrative (it hits like a thunderbolt!).  This is the framework, the picture so-to-speak, of our family Bible-reading sessions. 
  • The setting -- The family is gathered together in the living room in the evening.  It is dark outside but we have light inside.  We are safe.  Each of us sits where we choose, on chairs, on sofa, on piano bench.  The center of attention is a book and everyone listens to the reading of that book.  When prayers are finished, all leave the room and go to bed for the night with language from the book still ringing in our ears.
  •  The main character -- The main character in the scene is Dad with the book.  He sets the tone for the Bible-reading just through his own actions.  His voice is still, steadfast, deferential.  And so are we.  It is abundantly clear that Dad is the leader of this family.  He is not always as loving and kind as this scene would imply.  There are multiple facets to his personality.  But in relation to his reading of the Bible, his attitude and actions are impeccable. 
  • The supportive characters -- We, including my mother, follow Dad's lead.  More than we know, we are soaking up all the language that the King James version of the Bible provides.  The cadence and rhythm of the narrative; the exceptional vocabulary like "thee", "thou", and "thy" not often used any more except by specific sects similar to Quakers; the flow of the words, phrases, sentences.  These are what stick.
This framework explains that the impact of the Bible-reading sessions has to do with more than just the reading.  It also creates feelings of (1) safety, warmth, and comfort; (2) security that our parents do/will take care of us; and (3) appreciation for the beauty of the language we hear.

No other book has influenced me more, as I am now realizing.  My choices of reading material later on do not include what are considered the classics.  "Mr. Fix-it", "Black Beauty", books by author Grace Livingston Hill are a means by which I can lose myself in the story.  Even biographies and historical fiction serve the purpose of taking me out of my own reality of a too-restrictive life to a place where I can dream. 

The absence of pictures is another benefit of the Bible as a reading foundation.  As I listen, I create pictures in my mind.  To this day, I prefer listening to National Public Radio just as much or moreso than seeing TV or a movie.  Creating my own mind-pictures is one of the most enjoyable aspects of listening to a narrative.

The last benefit of the Bible-reading sessions, but not the least, is a deep appreciation for the book as object.  One of my first acts in exploring a new book is to smell the pages as I flip through them.  Not only seeing the exterior of front and back covers but also feeling them (are they smooth or nubby?) is important.  Icing on the cake comes, however, when I discover the pages are thin as tissue.  Parchment, maybe?  To me, that's the ultimate -- just as Dad's Bible had.

This revelation of the importance and influence of Bible-reading sessions on my literacy inheritance almost blows me away.  As a college student, I reject my early upbringing and choose a much more liberal path, becoming more broad-minded with each passing decade.  What continues to linger, I realize, is not so much the message and content of the readings but the method by which they are delivered.  Language is the thing.  Therein lies its inherent value.  One could do worse than have the Bible as a literary role model.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

THE LOWDOWN ON HILLARY CLINTON

"...Hillary is a Machiavellian conspirator and implacable liar, unworthy of society's trust."  This description is what both right and left agree on when it comes to Hillary Clinton, according to Michael Arnovitz of Portland, Oregon.  His Facebook post clearly lays out the process by which this viewpoint has been developed over the years.  Authenticity of his facts and summations ring so many bells for me that I wish to pass them on to you.

First, "...the claim that Hillary is innately dishonest is simply accepted as a given."  Two sources who should know refute this claim of dishonesty:  (1) Politifact has determined that Hillary is more honest than most politicians (but not all) they have tracked over the years, and (2) Jill Abramson, former Executive Editor of New York Times states, "I'm not a favorite in Hillaryland...Hillary Clinton is fundamentally honest and trustworthy."

Where, then, does the "birth of 'Hillary as a Liar' meme start?"  Arnovitz takes us back to Whitewater and William Safire's essay about Hillary Clinton called, "Blizzard of Lies."  A few examples created by Safire and listed by Arnovitz include Safire calling her a "'congenital' liar...[she] created 'web of deceit' with friends...she took bribes, evaded taxes, forced her own attorneys to perjure themselves, 'bamboozled' bank regulators," and so on.  In the end, "...Safire was eventually proven wrong about everything he had written".  So what was the real reason Hillary was pilloried at the time?  "She had refused to play the traditional First Lady role...and...she attempted to champion Universal Health coverage."  [What many women of today are very sure of is that "uppity women" get no respect.  Currently, Hillary Clinton, in my view, is the mother of all uppity women -- she has the audacity to think that she as a woman could become President of the United States, the most powerful position in the world!  How dare she?!  But I digress.]

Arnovitz goes on.  Although"conservative propaganda and lies" are to blame, he feels the "main fuel that powers the anti-Hillary crowd is sexism...I've seen no other plausible explanation---this is the primary force that has generated and maintained most of the negative narratives about Hillary."

However, Arnovitz sees several serious impediments when making accusations of sexism:
(1)  Almost no one will admit to it, either conservative or liberal...
(2) Overt sexism is significantly more likely to be tolerated in our society than overt racism...
(3) We have formed a sort of collective blindness to sexism that allows us to pretend that we are on top of the issue while simultaneously ignoring the many ways in which it actually permeates our society...
(4)  Unlike men, women who make demands are still often seen as unfeminine and inappropriately aggressive, bordering on deviant...

To overcome these impediments, Arnovitz brings out the heavy-hitters:  numbers, proof of the pudding as it were.  Arnovitz describes a chart of Hillary's popularity over time.  It has been put together by Nate Silver beginning with her time as First Lady in the White House in the early 90's.
  • At that time, Hillary's polling starts out great
  • When Hillary takes charge of Universal Health Care, her negatives skyrocket.
  • During Whitewater investigations, her polling improves dramatically.
  • When Hillary declares she will run for Senate in New York, her favorables plummet while her unfavorables rise sharply.
  • Once she's elected, her numbers stabilize and even improve.
  • About the same time Hillary withdraws from the 2008 Presidential race, her favorables take off again.
  • Her polling stays way up (some think to a remarkable level) until...guess?
  • She decides to run for President again.  Where are her unfavorables now?
The common thread running through all this, as Arnovitz makes clear, is that whenever Hillary asks for power, her numbers drop like a manhole cover [my emphasis].  "The one thing that seems to most negatively and consistently affect public perception of Hillary is any attempt by her to seek power."  [There's that uppity woman again.]

Arnovitz also analyzes issues people are currently using to disparage Hillary.

1.  Honesty -- That's been addressed above.  Additionally, it can be asked if she's any worse than other politicians.  No worse than many; better than most.  Trump has been known to be significantly less honest on the campaign trail.  According to Politifact, Trump is the least honest candidate they have ever analyzed.  Is Hillary being held to a higher standard than Trump?  

2.  Scandals -- "Are scandals still scandals if no one has done anything wrong?" asks Arnovitz.  In fact, Hillary has always been cleared of any wrongdoing, he points out.  There is such a thing as "negative effect on credibility," he goes on.  "It's not so much the RESULT of scandals as it is the INTENT of those who create them."  Examples:  (a) Republicans spent 10 days and 140 hours investigating Clinton's use of White House Christmas Card List, and (b) Consider treatment Hillary gets due to her private email "scandal" compared to that of General David Petraeus and asks, "Why is Hillary Clinton being held to an obviously different standard than Petraeus?"  Republicans fawn all over him after his illegal behavior but defame her when she has no illegal behavior.

3.  Money -- Hillary has been denigrated for accepting $250,000 speaking fees.  The truth?  "There is a large, well-established and extremely lucrative industry for speaking and appearance fees."  For appearances, Paris Hilton has been paid $750,000; Kylie Jenner, $100,000; and Vanilla Ice, $15,000.  For speaking engagements, the MINIMUM paid by "All American Speakers" who represents Hillary and 135 other people is $200,000.  If the fee drops to $50,000, over 1200 are represented.  Many more are represented by other agencies.  It is not unusual, then, for people to earn high speaker fees.  What is unusual, Arnovitz points out, is for A WOMAN to earn this amount.  Ever hear of Rudy Guiliani and speaking fees he earned in 2007?  Like $700,000 a month; $40 million in the 5 years before his presidential run?  Or Jeb Bush earning millions from paid speeches after leaving Governors office?  Any complaints?

4.  Wall Street -- The implication is that Hillary's highest paid speeches are provided to Wall Street.  In fact, out of 100 speeches she's given since leaving the State Department, only 8 were done for Wall Street at $225,000 each.  That doesn't break her highest paid speeches rate of $275,000 of which 3 were provided to Canada.  Most of her speeches have been to organizations like Cardiovascular Research Foundation, United Fresh Produce Association, and even to American Camping Association...  "Does Wall Street have influence over politicians?" Arnovitz asks.  "Of course. It has enormous influence on everyone.  But," he continues, "influence is not the issue.  Whether or not paid speeches and campaign donations alone are proof of corruption is the issue...There is an important difference between association and guilt, between proof and slander."

There's been a media frenzy over Hillary and her paid speeches.  How does Donald compare?  He has been paid $1.5 million on numerous occasions; has been a proud scam artist with "Trump University" as a prime example; regularly calls Hillary Clinton, "Crooked Hillary and gets away with it.

[These last paragraphs are copied word-for-word from Arnovitz's post.  They speak directly to the issue at hand.  No one could have said it any better.]

"What the actual f... is going on here?  What's going on is what we all know, but mostly don't want to admit:  presidential campaigns favor men, and the men who campaign in them are rewarded for those traits perceived as being 'manly' -- physical size, charisma, forceful personality, assertiveness, boldness and volume.  Women who evince those same traits however are usually punished rather than rewarded, and a lot of the negativity aimed at Hillary over the years, especially when she is seeking office, has been due to these underlying biases.  There is simply no question that Hillary has for years been on the business end of an unrelenting double standard.  And her battle with societal sexism isn't going to stop because of her success anymore than Obama's battle with racism stopped once he was elected.  These are generational issues, and we are who we are.

And, actually, this only makes her victory all the more amazing.  And maybe it's OK if we pause for a moment from the accusations and paranoia and just acknowledge her enormous accomplishments.  In the entire history of our nation, only 6 Presidents have also served as Secretary of State.  Only 3 have served both as Secretary of State and in Congress.  By any objective measure Hillary is not just the most qualified candidate this season, she's one of the most qualified people to ever seek the office.  The New York Times in endorsing her stated that, 'voters have the chance to choose one of the most broadly and deeply qualified presidential candidates in history.'  [Arnovitz adds more quotes.]

Hillary is nobody's idea of perfect.  Fine.  But in my view if a man with her qualifications were running in the Democratic primary, Bernie would have been done before he even started.  And if a man with her qualifications had been running for the Republicans, they'd be anointing him the next Reagan while trying to sneak his face onto Mount Rushmore.

Most of the people who hate Hillary when she's running for office end up liking her just fine once she's won.  And I have every confidence that history will repeat itself again this November.  As for myself, I have been watching Presidential elections since Nixon.  And never in my life has there been an easier or more obvious choice than now.  Trump is not merely a bad choice, he is (as manly leading Republicans have already admitted) a catastrophic choice, unfit in every possible way for the office of the Presidency.  As such, I happily voted for Hillary in my primary.  And I will proudly vote for her in November.  Yes she will disappoint us all on occasion.  Who doesn't?  But I think she's also going to surprise a lot of people  She will fear neither consensus when possible nor ass-kicking when necessary.  She will safeguard us from the damage a right-wing Supreme Court would inflict on the nation.  She will stand for the rights of women, LGBT Americans, and minorities.  She will maintain critical global relationships, and she will react to dangerous situations with the temperament of a seasoned and experienced professional.  And in a nation that didn't even allow women to vote until 1920, she will make history by shattering the very highest glass ceiling, and in doing so forever change the way a generation of young women view their place in our Republic.

She's going to be a fine President.

I'm with her."

As of June 12, 2016, the original Michael Arnovitz Facebook post had 6,143 shares.  The original Facebook post is here:  www.facebook.com/...










 

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

LIKE A MANHOLE COVER

It's 1976.  I sit in a classroom with other students on the campus of Indiana University, Ft. Wayne.  It's evening.  I've driven to this class from Warsaw (45 min.) after a full day of teaching in elementary school.  I'm tired.  But I'm here because it's a state requirement:  I must begin work toward my Master's Degree within a five-year time span after starting to teach.  (It must be completed within ten years to retain my teaching certificate.)

Since I must take graduate courses anyway, why not work towards school administrative certification in the process of earning my Master's Degree?  School administrative courses could fulfill the requirement of "electives" for one thing.  But there's another reason I want that kind of certification.

For several years now, I've been frustrated.  I've enjoyed teaching both third and fourth grades in this small school system in northern Indiana.  Team-teaching with my colleagues has been a stimulating and real learning experience in so many ways.  Adapting to others' instructional methods while also sharing my own; observing our school principal's missteps which create tension among staff as a whole; then being elected President of our Teachers Association and head of our collective bargaining team -- this path, these leadership positions lead me to believe I can make a more effective school principal than our current one.  Icing on the cake comes when our School Superintendent officially names me "Interim Principal" for a day while our regular principal is out of town.  Superintendent Roehrer's confidence in my administrative skills blows me away.  I really can do this thing:  become a school principal.

So here I sit in a class of 20 students, a few women but mostly male ex-jocks [I make that assumption based on the fact that the path to a principalship at this time is through coaching].  I pull out my research paper that had been assigned for this class.  I do a quick review:  it is an argument, based on research, that states that women in school administration have performed outstandingly.

"Edith Sloan," the instructor calls.  I walk to the front of the room.  Clearly and distinctly, I read the two-page paper.  The most impressive part of it is a particular research study that shows the importance and success of women who serve as school principals.

As I finish, the instructor inquires if there are any questions.  A hand is raised near the front of the room.  "Yes?" I ask.

"I was just reading about a study the other day.  It showed just the opposite of what you've stated.  Women don't make good school administrators.  They're not nearly as successful as men.  What do you have to say about that?"

I repeat results from my study and, as my time is up, return to my seat.  The questioner is seated at the desk beside me.

"Where did you find the study you talked about?" I whisper.

"It doesn't exist," he responds.

"What?!"

He repeats himself, "It doesn't exist."

As the implication of what he has said sinks in, my heart drops into my stomach, my eyes grow wide with shock, and I growl, "How could you lie like that?"

"It served its purpose, didn't it?"  In other words, his "study" casts doubt on the legitimacy of my argument.  His response is just loud enough for me to hear.  He does not look at me.

Nothing less than a manhole cover could have taken the air out of my lungs like the act of this one person.  Every day of the week, every time I hear someone talk about Hillary Clinton as if she were a common thief and much worse, every occasion that Donald Trump (or his surrogates and/or other Republicans) opens his mouth with another obscenity or lie about Hillary, my teeth grind.  I'm reminded of that one evening in that classroom in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

It isn't as if I have had even the half of what Hillary has had to endure.  No one should ever have to be exposed to that kind of abuse let alone daily and even hourly.  But I know what it looks like; I know how it feels.  It's called sexism (every bit as real as racism):  "prejudice or discrimination based on sex, especially discrimination against women."

Thanks to Michael Arnovitz of Portland, OR, for the idea of this blog title. 
 

Sunday, July 31, 2016

COULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN?

Hillary Clinton gets a healthy "bump" from the Democratic Convention and begins her path back to dominance over Donald in the fall presidential election race.  It seems that with her wide, respected selection of surrogates telling her story, Hillary becomes the much more likely candidate to win.  Polls show the general population more in agreement with her values and will likely vote for her.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, keeps tripping over himself but nevertheless continues his habit of creating shock, dismay, and disbelief.  On each such occasion, very little time allows people to absorb the shock and to react in any other way than "Ain't it awful!"

In the meantime, investigative reporters and national security agencies are continuing their search for evidence concerning hostile governments' actions (like Russia) that interfere with the U.S. political process.  Much of that investigative work is focused on Donald and his sidekick, Paul Manifort, and their business dealings with Russia.  Will reporters and agencies be able to locate and communicate their findings to the American public before the election in November?

"October Surprise" brings about a major breach in our country's security (could it be something planned by Donald, Manifort, with Putin?).  All along, political pundits have been voicing the fear that Donald could overcome the polls' autumn majority for Hillary if a Putin-inspired disaster were to happen too close to the election.  Our population would be so afraid, they say, that it would change their vote from Hillary to Donald, giving Donald the presidency.

What are some facts that would seem to support this scenario?

1.  Over and over again, Donald has voiced admiration for Vladamir Putin. 
2.  Paul Manifort has had past (and current) business dealings with Russia through Ukraine.  (Has one reporter who has been investigating Manifort's business dealings in Ukraine also been hacked?)
3.  Donald's refusal to show his tax returns.  They may show any business dealings he has had with Russia.
4.  Donald has invited Russia to hack into Hillary's emails.  Considered espionage?
5.  Donald had the opportunity to turn down any items on the Republican Party Platform at the Republican Convention.  Although there were several with which he disagreed, he chose only one -- that of dealings with Ukraine.  Donald demanded removal of "references arming Ukraine in its fight against pro-Russia rebels, who have received material support from the Kremlin".  [The Guardian, 7/30/16]
6.  Vladamir Putin has made it a habit to interfere with western democracies through cyberattacks on French, Greek, Italian, Latvian targets during elections [The Guardian, 7/30/16].  Hacking the Democratic National Committee would follow in that tradition, something alleged to have been done by Russia.

All this is the kind of stuff of which movies have been made.  That may be the end result this November -- that nothing disastrous comes from it, that it all ends only in a movie script.  I can only hope.  In the meantime, however, my resolve is to make sure I vote, that others are encouraged to vote as well, and that our votes are for the only logical choice:  Hillary Rodham Clinton.

 
 

 

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Running Blue in a Red State: KICKING ASS!"I'm too old for this.""Are you su...

Running Blue in a Red State: KICKING ASS!

"I'm too old for this."

"Are you su...
: KICKING ASS! " I'm too old for this." "Are you sure?" Right brain argues with my left brain. Daughter buys m...
KICKING ASS!

"I'm too old for this."

"Are you sure?"

Right brain argues with my left brain.

Daughter buys my house in a small Montana town.  I move into the city 50 miles away and live totally alone for the first time ever.  I'm short six months of celebrating my 75th birthday.

This is, in fact, an experiment, an adventure of sorts.  I sign a six-month lease on a small apartment.  Although I'm acquainted with a few people and can find my way around, the territory is essentially new.  Am I really too old for this?  Can I begin a new life in a city alone?  Why would I even want to?

As a four-year resident of a small town, I find limited opportunities to stretch myself.  Running for political office as a Democrat bucks the local trend.  It leaves me feeling unrewarded and on the outs with many colleagues.  Serving on a local Board as well as trying to re-capture use of a skill from my distant past means that I expend all my energies, burn out, and look for other ways to succeed.  How can I widen my horizons, increase my knowledge, grow?

First step:  Create a vision.  How do I see myself in the latter third of my life?  As a grandparent?  Not yet anyway.  A perpetual volunteer?  Maybe.  A person who has skills, talents, and dreams yet to be realized?  Yes, that's who I am.  What are my dreams?  Live life to its fullest.  Possibly reside in another country that has a different culture, traditions, food, and language.  (Research cannot say for sure but learning a new skill like another language may help build brainpower that helps hold off memory loss - WebMD.)  How can I bring that to pass?

Second step:  Embrace change.  Change happens anyway.  Why not meet it head-on?  I want adventure; I want to experience as much life as possible.  To do that, I must live independently.  Floating lazily down a stream while other family members make decisions about my life doesn't really cut it.  I research possibilities, choose options.  Sell my house, move into the city.

Third step:  Observe self through upcoming changes.  How do I plan my days in the city?  In which organizations do I have interest and want to participate?  How do I connect with others who may have similar interests?  Do I feel my goal of living life to its fullest is coming to fruition?  Will it be enough?  Or do I want to push myself even more?  If I do well in this transition of six months, does that mean I have found my goal or is there a next step?

Possible fourth step:  Assess my life within six months.  Is this a city where I continue to expand horizons, increase my knowledge, grow within a community?  Or does living overseas sound like a more interesting option?  If that's true, developing how-to skills is a part of that process and is already starting.

Life happens, right?  To the extent, however, that one can control anything at all, I want to make challenging choices.  I live to the best of my ability in this third "third".  It is as I wish -- a kick-ass life!

Friday, June 17, 2016

Published in Montana Senior News, June/July, 2016, is the following story I wrote in February, 2015.

TODAY I FLY!

Today's the day.  I jump into my car.  I'm free!

Down alley, left to Main.  No cars.  I turn right, then right again at the blinking light, down the hill.  Slowly, I keep at 25 mph.  I want to fly!  No.  Not yet, not yet.

The sun, still low in the sky, hits me on the left.  Feels good.

I cross the river and enter the first curve.  Years back, the road twists and turns.  It would be so easy to miss a bend, fly across a fence, a pasture.  Now my path cuts through hillsides.

Without thinking, I push the radio "on" button.  A blast of static assails.  Oops.  I haven't yet crossed the Divide where Montana Public Radio kicks in.

The road gently inclines.  I consider my long, productive life, achievements undisputed.  A strict, stifled upbringing leads to a failed marriage but, out of that, comes a daughter with whom I now share my home.  The death of my second husband four years ago precipitates my move to Montana.  Adjustments haven't been easy.  Now at 74, I've questioned my worth many times.  But today?  Today I fly!

Slowly I reach the peak.  At the Divide, a railroad trestle spans the highest point in the mountains.  Over the edge, cliffs are steep, jagged.  Valleys below are rolling, uneven.  What if I gunned the motor, heading straight instead of curving with the road?  Just let myself go, relax into the air, gravity carrying me downward?  No, no.  Not here. Not yet.

Again I push the radio button.  It's MTPR's "Performance Today".  Strauss from Carnegie Hall flows around, through me, providing calm to taut nerves.  What will be my performance today?

Memories flood in.  A school teacher, a doctoral degree, a school principal.  How else to move up in the 1970's than to have more credentials than male counterparts?

A new love, a move to Florida, a consulting venture.  I love the work but not clawing to the top.  A better fit is serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer with my husband in Bulgaria for two years after retirement.  Adjusting to newness of country, language, food, traditions, is a challenge we meet with flying colors.

I'm good at adjusting to change, overcoming barriers.  I've done it many times.  There's been so much to live for.

After relocation and my husband's death, I adapt.  The long-distance move to my daughter's is part of that flexibility.  But now, approaching old age, I must again create something new.

It's been difficult.  One step forward, two steps back.  Where am I now?

I have read statistics on suicides in the West, far higher than in the rest of the nation.  Montana is ranked third nationally.  Will I be considered one of those statistics?  No matter.  I know what I have to do.

Through prairie land, intermittent hills along stretches of ribbon highway, I spy clouds of rising smoke signaling my arrival into the city.  I make a right turn at the blinking light and another further on.  I begin my ascent up the long, steep rise.  Approaching the summit, I see on my left a sign for Swords Park, a walking path follows the top of the stone rims forming the city's northern boundary.  Located many feet below is the city center shaped by the rims into a bowl.

I often wonder what it would be like to walk this path.  Can I take that walk now?  No guard rails, no fences, nothing to impede a stumble and fall into the abyss.  No surrounding mantle of metal to keep a body from feeling the full impact of bones against rock.

A slight movement to the right of my windshield draws my attention -- an orange color, waving in the wind.  Oh, yes.  I pull right into the drive, pass several buildings before arriving at the door of the last one.  I climb from my car just as a tall, lanky fellow steps out, sees me and grins.

"Hey," he calls.  "Right on time.  Are you nervous?" he asks, heading my way.

"Are you kidding?!  I'm scared silly!  My whole life has passed before my eyes.  But, hey, this is my first tandem skydive.  Today I fly!"  

Thursday, June 16, 2016

A MOMENTOUS CHANGE

A microcosm, my personal life mirrors the larger political changes in our country.  What is going on?  Hillary Rodham Clinton is the first woman ever to be elected as Presidential Candidate of a major political party.  It becomes more than probable that she will be our next President of the United States.  How does that affect me?

1.  About Hillary's candidacy, people say, "Enough of male-only leadership.  Forget what has always been.  Let's look seriously at width and depth of experience, a female outlook, wisdom-with-age and see where that can take us."
     My personal life:  I sell my house to my daughter (she's been staying with me off and on over the past four years).  Closing on my house is July 7.  My past tells me I must follow tradition, do what has already worked.  Buy another home, grow more roots, stay close to home and family.  This time, however, my path is not so clear.  What do I want to do with the rest of my life?  Do I really want another home which requires time and resources to maintain and which also keeps me staying in one place?  Why not invest that time and money in my life?  Take the focus off a house, put it on me, see where it can take me?

2.  About Hillary's candidacy, people say, "We need no longer be tethered to a tired, old idea.  We have the ability now to experiment and succeed with a female leader as many other countries have already done.  Consider Indira Gandhi of India; Golda Meir of Israel; Margaret Thatcher of the United Kingdom; Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan; Angela Merkel of Germany; and Aung San Suu Kyi of Myanmar.  These are only six out of a list of more than 25 female leaders of countries.  (Wikipedia)
     My personal life:  I would like not to be tethered to a house.  Instead, I would like to fly, to experiment, to meet people who may be more like me -- whatever that looks like.  Or to meet people who look nothing like me, speak another language, practice different traditions, eat different foods.

3.  About Hillary's candidacy, people say, "These years can be a learning experiment.  See what women like Hillary can do -- success will be hers.  Imagine the role model she will serve for young girls and women."
     My personal life:  I want the last years of my life to be a learning experiment.  What am I capable of doing?  What risks am I willing to take?  Can I make my life exciting again by learning something new while still taking care of myself?  Can I be a success in my own eyes?

My developing plan:
  • Rent a small apartment in our nearby city for six months.  See what I can do.  It allows for time and space to see what I really want.  It's a tentative step towards independence, totally on my own since before marriage and no family living with me.
  • Will learning to do for myself be enough?  Regular healthcare is nearby.  Commitments to work on current projects here will continue on a weekly basis.  [My candidacy, however, effectively ends when leaving this District.]  Will I also be able to join in with other interesting groups in the city, like a writing group, a dancing group?  Will I become part of smaller communities within a larger community?
  • Once I'm free to leave at the end of this six months, will I want to leave?  Will I want to live somewhere else?  Will I still want to experiment, to take risks, to live in another country, speak another language?  Will I have an interest in learning another language during these six months -- to prepare for living in another country?  Or will I decide that living alone in the city is enough?
  • Will the first-ever check I receive last week from Montana Senior News for a story I'd written ("Today I Fly") be enough motivation to keep me writing?  To spread my wings through writing so there is no need to go someplace else?  Or will my need to risk and write be the way to go? 
  • I want to write.  I want to take risks.   Is this the combination that will make my writing a success, particularly at my age?  Are these the kinds of stories that will motivate others to also take risks in their later years?  The tendency as I get older is to stay comfortable.  I get used to a routine that seems safe but doesn't allow for much excitement in life, or to generate much new learning.  It, instead, allows for my becoming stale, uninteresting, lacking new ideas or freshness.  How to avoid that?  Not sure.  
  •  Do I need to be physically moving?  Can I be the one experiencing all the new and the risky and then writing about it?  Can I experience it living in one place or must I go out of my comfort zone in order to write about it? 
  • That's what I'm hoping these next six months will tell me.
With Hillary's long journey and many successes along the way, will she be able to achieve her goal of the Presidency?  There's no question that she is ready.  There's no question that she has the ability and experience.  There's no question that she is a positive influence on the rest of us who struggle to achieve our own goals.

What is Hillary's impact?  She shows us how to shoot for the stars.  When she gets knocked down, she jumps back up.  Not once, not even twice, but over and over again.  She is persistent; she never gives up.  "Keep working toward your goals," she models.  And if I don't meet my goals?  Maybe, just maybe, merely trying for them will create a heck of a ride!